Do you have any old memories that make you cringe, boil with rage or regret, or wallow in guilt and shame? Do you wish to be rid of your past once and for all?
Maybe this could help you, as it did me.
Jordan Peterson’s past self-authoring is part of the Self-Authoring Suite, which allows you to write about your present, past, and future. I bought it after listening to some of Jordan Peterson’s lectures and reading his book “12 Rules for Life”.
My intention at the time was to merely write the future self-authoring programme because I was confused about my future. I thought that could be useful, but I never got that far.
Even after all these years, I still haven’t written it. (I guess I’ll write it soon; it’ll be a pleasant exercise now, knowing that I actually have some kind of dream or vision of the future.)
At the time, the programme recommended starting with the past, then going over the present, and only then the future. I decided to give it a shot because I enjoy following instructions and wanted to get the most out of the programme.
Writing did help, but not in the way I imagined. These are the three benefits of the past self-authoring programme:
- Clearer thinking about the past—a more objective perspective
- A sense of maturation—letting go of the past
- Memories no longer haunt you.
It is recommended to put aside a time block and write for at least, I do not know, 4–8 hours? But it took me a month to finish it. I ended up writing exactly 32,742 words.
But enough about that; let me tell you about the way self-authoring helped me.
Benefit #1: Clearer thinking about the past – a more objective perspective
All of your life experiences shape who you are.
The programme required me to divide my life into seven phases and write in depth about the major events in each. Then I had to dissect them.
How can you move forward in the best way if you don’t know what made you who you are today? This is what I discovered. Writing about and analysing my experiences helped me realise what I’d learned and why I’m the way I am now.
Now I can think more objectively about my past; I know how I got here and what poor and good decisions I made.
I gained a new perspective by defining what I had learned.
I realised more about my childhood memories—much of it was not my fault, and I am not a bad person for making mistakes when I was young.
Benefit #2: Feeling like you have grown up—letting go of the past
It’s just been 2.5 years, yet it feels like much longer.
I wrote the self-authoring programme about 4 or 5 years ago.
Before, I felt trapped as a sixteen-year-old, unable to mature emotionally. I was still nervous and terrified of the world. I was inexperienced and afraid of people.
I can say that after completing the programme, I feel my age. I now feel like I can put the past where it belongs: in the past.
I am capable of letting go of my limiting thoughts and insecurities. The programme made me realise that I can change, and I have changed a lot.
Benefit #3: Memories no longer haunt you.
Specific memories that had brought me intense shame and guilt, as well as anger, let me go and no longer affected me.
It has been 2.5 years, and I do not even remember the memories I wrote about.
I reread some of what I had written, and I do not feel the same shame, guilt, and anger at myself now. I mostly feel empathy for the person I was then.
I will be honest: some things still make me feel regret, but so little that it is barely there. I realise that regret does not benefit me; I need to let things go. I cannot travel back in time and do things differently.
Conclusion
One thing I can say is that it was difficult to write.
Well, not really to write, but my mood definitely dropped for that month. After that I felt so light and like I had actually grown and learned a lot of lessons in my life. This gives you a new perspective on your memories and experiences.
Most days, I wrote as if I were possessed; the words just flowed. Some days, however, I was unable to write anything. It was difficult to write about some topics, such as childhood and lost friendships, disappointments, and regrets.
I would recommend this to anyone who is still unable to let go of the past. If there are still memories, do not leave them alone. Even to just be more clear on your past, to understand yourself, and to go forward more peacefully.
It feels like I read this blog with these tips, with the idea of how to get better, many, many years ago and it helped me)
Good to hear that. Thank you for reading!