Say yes to everything you are invited to

I enjoy taking on challenges. It is my response to problems in my life. Feeling grumpy in the morning – smile each day in the mirror for a minute and you will feel more happy and positive than before. Feeling weak and without energy – start a running or an exercise challenge. This time it was a social challenge to get myself out of the house.

What is a social challenge?

Social challenge in this instance is saying yes to everything I get invited to. How did I get there? Well…My social challenge was at first that I had to write to someone at least one a day. I had so many people to just ask how are they doing that I thought it would be easy. Let me tell you – it was not. It was too active and rigid. Sometimes I did not know what to talk about, felt awkward. I wasted so much energy worrying and trying to fit myself into something I was not. After that I tried a more passive and more transformative challenge – say yes to everything I get invited to. It is exactly what it sounds like – I only said no if I had other commitments at that time.

Why did I start it?

At the time, I was studying at home and rarely went outside. I had everything I needed at home. So I did not meet many people on a day-to-day basis. Even though I had friends, I did not communicate with them. I felt lonely and isolated. Let’s be honest: I did not have any social life. I found myself dreaming about doing things and being something different, but not actually doing the things I was dreaming about. Something needed to change. So I started a challenge.

How did it go?

Well… I told my sister about this challenge, so every time I got invited to something, I told her, and I had no excuses not to go. She was my accountability buddy. Usually, actually, every time I had to go somewhere, I did not want to go outside the house. Even if it was to meet my best friend. I got this feeling that I wanted to cancel everything at the last minute. Now I had no excuses. Even if I did not feel like it—I felt tired, cranky, not in the mood, busy—I had to go. So it went like this: – Hey, I got invited to this event. I really do not want to go. But I’ve got this challenge, and I have to say yes.

Also, the opposite was true as well. I was so used to not socializing that it was like I was conditioned to say no, even though I wanted to go. So I now had a positive excuse too—I had a challenge. It worked both ways. I did not want to, but I had to go. I wanted to; I had an excuse to myself.

The most recent example of saying yes was going to a Zumba class. I was there with other ladies, most of them older than me. We danced to about eight songs. I did not know any of the choreographies, but others knew everything. I was the only one who was stumbling around and not knowing what to do! But it was fun and not as scary as it seemed at first. It seems like my comfort zone has increased.

What have I learned?

I learned to socialize again. It was hard to be in new places with new people. It was uncomfortable. It was awkward. It was tiring. I was not used to people or social settings, especially large groups of people. Now I feel more comfortable, and I am not saying my social anxiety has disappeared; it still shows up every time before an event, but it does not stop me as it did before.

Results

Now that it has been more than a year, I can honestly say that this has changed my life. Just saying yes to more things brought me places I did not think I would go and be. After going through everything, I can say that this challenge and this experiment were a success. I have joined a choir, started dancing, and developed deeper, more meaningful relationships with my friends. I now have a social life and feel more comfortable in real-life conversations than on the phone. I have gone hiking, gone boating, and gone dancing.

If you want to try

I would recommend this if you feel stuck and are more of a dreamer than a doer kind of person. It will definitely take you out of your comfort zone, and you will start to enjoy more of your life. The social challenge is a way of expanding your horizons and overcoming your fears. By saying yes to everything, you expose yourself to different situations and people that you might otherwise avoid. You might discover new hobbies, interests, or friends that enrich your life. You might also learn more about yourself and what you are capable of.

Saying yes to things is not easy, but it is rewarding. It requires courage, openness, and flexibility. You have to be willing to step out of your routine and embrace the unknown. You have to be ready to face awkwardness, discomfort, or rejection. But you also have to be prepared for fun, excitement, and growth.

Start with small things: say yes to a friend’s invitation to go hiking in the woods. What I learned is that everything starts with a small change, and small changes can lead to big results over time. Also, the opportunities were all around me. I just did not see it. All I needed was to open up to the world, and the world provided them for me.