First of all, I’m incredibly excited about this opportunity. The idea of living on my own, away from home, is thrilling. I’ll have the freedom to be anyone I want, with no one knowing my past. It’s a fresh start, a clean slate.
I’m also looking forward to meeting so many new people — people outside my usual circle. I crave that. New friends, new connections, new adventures. It’s something I’ve wanted for a long time.
But with all this excitement comes a lot of fear. It’s hard not to wonder: what if I’m awkward? What if I end up lonely? What if I can’t handle it all and have a breakdown because I have to do everything by myself?
I know I’ll be okay, no matter what, but those doubts still sneak in.
What I’m most afraid of is getting stuck in my own head — so wrapped up in anxiety that I miss out on the experience. I wish I could just let go of these fears, but I can’t. Not yet.
And that’s okay.
I want this to be an amazing adventure, but I’m scared of getting too excited. What if I get my hopes up? What if I dream too big? What if I meet someone who changes everything? What if I fall in love with the place and never want to leave?
In a way, I’m open to that.
It feels like my life is on the verge of a major shift, and that terrifies me. The idea of just letting go and going with the flow is unsettling. What if all my carefully made plans fall apart?
Then I’ll make new ones. This is an adventure, after all. It’s only three months — how much could really happen?
A lot.
Or nothing.
Or maybe everything.
I feel like I’m standing on the edge of something huge.
This is big. I’ll have to navigate it all on my own, but I know, deep down, everything will be okay. I’m ready for this.
I really am.
I think I’m scared of change because it means giving up control. It means admitting I didn’t know everything — not that I was wrong, just that I was younger and less experienced.
And that’s okay.
I don’t need to have all the answers. I don’t need to be perfect. I can’t control everything, and I don’t need to.
I just need to let go.
Whatever will be, will be.
Whether I meet new friends or not, I’ll be fine. If I get bored, I’ll be fine. If I don’t travel much, I’ll be fine. Even if I get stuck somewhere, I’ll be fine.
I will be fine.
And I’ll be able to write about all of it.
I need this experience, and I’m ready for it.
Wish me luck. I have a feeling I’ll need it.
Now that I see everything coming up next week, I’m starting to feel nervous. The fear of being alone, of making mistakes, of not knowing what to do — it’s all bubbling up. I know it’ll be fine, but I can’t help wishing I was already there, past all the initial stress.
My feet are literally getting cold.
This is scary, but I realize it’s just a small, childlike fear. I can ask for help if I need it. Everything will work out.
Of course, there are still practical worries, like whether I’ll get my bedding in time. The anxiety is real, but so is the excitement. I’m about to live somewhere new, even if only for a little while.
I’m scared, and that’s okay. I’ll survive. I’ll grow. Hopefully, my confidence will grow too.
This is my last night before I head to the airport and fly to London and then go to Lincoln.
The stress is building, over small things like how I’m going to lug a 15kg bag up the stairs.
My last night in Sigulda — it’s hard to believe. This is the start of a new adventure, the start of a new chapter in my life. I’m leaving the old me behind. From here on out, everything will be different. I’ll grow, meet new people, and have new experiences.
Right now, I feel a strange sense of calm. I’ve done everything I could, and all that’s left is to start the journey.
It’s time to embrace the adventure.
Good luck!