I have always been a person who likes structure and organization.
I like planning; it calms me down and gives me an illusion of control when I am stressed. These characteristics are wonderful when I need to complete tasks and be productive.
It is not so great when change happens—a change in routine, an illness, an accident, a new school, family problems, or relationship problems. It was a struggle to adapt to the changes.
Adapting became a struggle as my inflexible mindset impeded my ability to cope with life’s uncertainties.
Professional Definition
Psychological flexibility, I learned, is crucial for mental well-being.
It involves being present, accepting emotions, and aligning actions with values, even during challenges. Psychological flexibility is the ability to be in contact with the present and act on long-term goals rather than short-term urges. It allows people to adapt to changes in the environment and react in new, creative, and healthy ways that align with their goals and values.
How to Know if You Are Rigid in Your Thinking
Not sure if you are or aren’t psychologically flexible?
When trying to understand flexibility, it helps to consider the opposite, psychological rigidity.
Recognising psychological rigidity is vital. It shows in an aversion to change, overthinking, and difficulty adapting under stress.
Often a part of mental health issues or disorders, it can look like:
- a refusal to change our behaviours or see what we are doing that is causing our lives to be difficult
- using ‘avoidance coping’ (putting our heads in the sand instead of dealing with things; I am guilty of this).
- overthinking and worrying instead of adapting
- over-focusing on some areas of life and neglecting others
- sticking to ideas even if we don’t know we believe in them.
- being knocked over by stress
- unable to plan and work towards goals.
Identifying these patterns in myself was the first step.
How to Improve Your Psychological Flexibility
Developing psychological flexibility involves conscious effort and self-reflection. Here are some steps to enhance your mental flexibility:
Active Acceptance: Acknowledge thoughts and emotions without judgement.
Detachment: Understand that thoughts don’t define you; learn to detach from them.
Mindfulness: Practice being present and aware of your surroundings.
Define Your Values: Identify core values to guide decisions and actions.
Embrace Change: Be open to discomfort and face challenging emotions.
Personally, I found journaling to be a powerful tool for self-awareness, helping me untangle my thoughts. Meditation grounded me in the present, fostering mental clarity. Defining my core values served as a compass, guiding me towards constructive habits aligned with my principles.
Right now, the most useful habit I have adopted is monthly reviews. It has allowed me to change my perspective, no matter what happened the month before. Like a monthly self-check-in, making me aware of what is happening in my life.
Results
It is very slow to change your mental flexibility. But it is possible.
I have been journaling for years, on and off. For more than 5 months, I have been journaling almost every day and writing monthly reviews. This really helped me figure out what I was thinking and when I was stuck, running away, or focusing too much on negative things.
I have been trying to accept my thoughts and emotions, and these habits are working. Self-checking in daily, asking myself, “Am I running away from something?” and then doing the thing I am running away from has greatly affected my skill of managing my life, emotions, and thoughts.
It helped deal with unexpected changes.
Conclusion
The journey to mental flexibility involves self-awareness and acceptance.
It’s not about eliminating structure but embracing change with an open mind. Through mindfulness, active acceptance, and living by our values, we can navigate life’s complexities. A balance between structure and flexibility creates resilience.
Embracing change fosters genuine strength and adaptability.
Resources:
https://steverosephd.com/how-to-improve-psychological-flexibility/